Great Expectations
Life has been bearing down on me lately. Everything feels difficult for me right now. Friendships feels strained and unrewarding. I am having relationship issues with Joy that seem simple to resolve from one perspective but overwhelming from another. I feel overwhelmed. I thought things were going well with work, but now everything at work seems dauntingly uncertain.
It is so strange and amazing. Less than a week ago I was close to cloud nine and thought that I would be there in just a few short months, and now this weekend everything has gone to the sewer.
One of the most frustrating things about all of this is that I feel that I am being dealt a bad hand in some of these situations, yet I am continually being told that everything is my responsibility and that no matter what happens that there is no excuse for anything but meeting the highest of expectations.
I am frustrated because I would very much like to meet and exceed all expectations place on me, but it isn’t happening for me. I know that people do not realistically expect perfection. They will say that every time. Reality just works out differently than people tell you.
My wife has very high expectations and she is unhappy because they are not being met. My job has high expectations and they are not being met, but to make matters worse the people above me are all very new (less than a year when you add the experience together) at the particulars of their position yet they have worked for the company for ages. So there is all this undue self confidence and micromanagement, and I feel like they are not even doing their jobs well. In fact, I feel like their mistakes are making my job much harder to do than it should be. My friends are also giving me all these high expectations too. I would like to relax and be without any of this for a while, but everywhere I go I am being told about new expectations that I have failed to meet along with a slew of old ones that I have and/or have not met.
My habit during difficult times that are out of my control is to turn away from things if I can and focus on something else for a while. Right now schoolwork isn’t seeming so unattractive. The expectations are high there too, but I am pretty accustomed to that at this point. It will give me something to do until I go to work again and resume my efforts to meet their expectations. Hopefully, I start to get some of this stuff in order by June.
Posted by David under Uncategorized |